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  #1  
Old 05-13-2011, 04:55 PM
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E! Online interview with Shania

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Old 05-13-2011, 08:06 PM
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Thanks!
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NEW Shania album 'NOW' out September 29, 2017! Pre-Order it HERE !
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  #3  
Old 05-14-2011, 10:51 AM
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Originally Posted by amanda122



Interesting video. She doesn't blame Mutt, but doesn't condone what happened. Nice way to express a political answer.


Steve
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Old 05-14-2011, 05:23 PM
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How does she not blame him? I understand not blaming him for the breakdown of the marriage; usually both people contribute when a marriage doesn't work. But like she blames Marie-Ann, she should also blame Mutt. He cheated on her with her best friend. That is low.
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Old 05-14-2011, 05:43 PM
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Originally Posted by talkalot24
How does she not blame him? I understand not blaming him for the breakdown of the marriage; usually both people contribute when a marriage doesn't work. But like she blames Marie-Ann, she should also blame Mutt. He cheated on her with her best friend. That is low.



That will be addressed in Episode 2 of WHY NOT?. She also discusses it in the book.



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Old 05-14-2011, 06:55 PM
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Yeah, I read it in the book. I still don't understand how she doesn't blame Mutt.
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Old 05-16-2011, 03:36 PM
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Originally Posted by talkalot24
Yeah, I read it in the book. I still don't understand how she doesn't blame Mutt.


Yeah Episode 2 of Why Not she calls him a beautiful man, caring, etc. I think it is because she is in denial to be angry at him for what happened. She has unloaded both barrels at Marie-Anne, but so far, she has left Mutt unscathed and is kind of making excuses for his actions. My opinion is that alright it has happened and they all have moved on, but in order for her to totally move on and heal, then she has to let it all hang out. If that means going ballistic on Mutt for a spell, then so be it.

Steve
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Old 05-16-2011, 04:21 PM
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Yeah, I read it in the book. I still don't understand how she doesn't blame Mutt.



See Episode 2 review in Forbes. They explain why. It is all part of the problem she is having to overcome.


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  #9  
Old 05-16-2011, 04:24 PM
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http://blogs.forbes.com/kiriblakele...nt-sing-part-2/

It seems clear that Shania’s singing problem has a lot to do with her refusal to express what must be devastatingly painful emotions. Given her hard-scrabble, poverty stricken childhood and her traumatic early adulthood—wherein she had to raise her young siblings after her parents suddenly died in a car crash—it’s little wonder that Shania has willed herself into an unemotive ball of steel.

In an effort to learn how to better handle her emotions, Shania visits author and psychiatrist Dr. Gordon Livingston, who lost two sons, one to suicide and the other to leukemia. He gives her a brief counseling session in her trailer, and offers up the somewhat dubious advice that she needs to forgive “not just the other person, but forgiveness of yourself as well for having made this mistake.”

While I agree that Shania needs to work on forgiving herself—victims often take on a heaping helpful of blame no matter how much it’s undeserved—I wouldn’t characterize the betrayal as Shania’s “mistake.” Livingston also tells Shania she needs to take “responsibility” for “misjudging” her husband and her friend. Huh?

With all due respect, this is where Dr. Livingston and I wildly diverge. I see what happened to Shania as the emotional equivalent of being struck head on by a drunk driver. No one would characterize the victim of this type of crime as having made a “mistake” or needing to take “responsibility” for her part in the collision. There is such a reluctance to be seen as a victim in this country that I believe there’s an unwarranted and unhelpful amount of “figure out your part in this” mentality regarding getting snowballed by thieves, liars, and betrayers.

Shania then goes on to describe her ex-husband—yes, the same one who has thrown her into this emotional hell—as “beautiful” and “wonderful” and “generous.”

Shania has received a lot of derision in the press for this out-of-the-blue defense of her ex. However, as someone who suffered my own epic-level personal betrayal a few years ago, and who wrote extensively about it in my book Can’t Think Straight: A Memoir of Mixed-Up Love, I think I know why Shania said this.

A part of you simply does not want to acknowledge—cannot acknowledge—that a person you trusted implicitly, loved, and spent so many years with—could be the same person who betrayed you so horribly. So your brain plays a little trick to help you get through the day: It tells you your ex is a good person, who just happened to do a bad thing. Your brain may even go so far as to begin to idealize the person who betrayed you—which conveniently allows you to place the blame for what happened squarely on yourself. Then along comes someone like Dr. Livingston who tells you that you must own up to your “responsibility” for your “mistake,” and the next thing you know, you are the one with the problem.

Note how she tells Ellen DeGeneres that she was in “denial” about the affair. What, Shania, you aren’t psychic?

We tend to lionize those who “move on” from trauma and who refuse to “play victim.” This might be part of the reason Shania remarried in rapid-fire fashion after her divorce. See? this tells the world. I didn’t let this affect me. I moved on!


Deep betrayal is seen as something that needs to be “got over” rather than what it is, something that alters you permanently and informs all of your subsequent daily choices and long-term decisions—something that you must learn how to live with, cope with, and manage like an alcoholic manages the desire to drink.

“Can’t I just move on?” Shania wails, wild-eyed and laughing edgily, as her sister and new husband press her to get counseling. “Can’t I just deal with this myself?”

I kept waiting for one of them to say, “But you haven’t been. Don’t you see what you’re doing isn’t working?” No one said this. However, since Shania has undertaken this docuseries, she must already know it.



I have a feeling somewhere in episode 3-6, Shania will finally let it out. Carrie is right, she needs to let out her emotions.


-Chris
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Last edited by cbspock : 05-16-2011 at 04:39 PM.
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  #10  
Old 05-16-2011, 04:39 PM
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I still don't understand it. Denial is denial, but it is so obvious that Mutt is a creep.
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  #11  
Old 05-16-2011, 04:40 PM
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I still don't understand it. Denial is denial, but it is so obvious that Mutt is a creep.



It is an emotional hurdle Shania needs to get over. It is going to be rough.


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  #12  
Old 05-21-2011, 02:33 AM
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Getting over divorce is difficult. I have not had to go through this exactly....Well, in a way I did! My parents went through something just like this almost nine years ago. Without trying to lay it all out there, my mother and my father's best friend and brother-in-law had an affair which left both my father and my aunt in absolute devestation. It tore our entire family apart. The close knit family we once were was no more. My mother and "Uncle" moved in with each other and a year later, married. My father and my aunt were left reeling and never really got over it. My father did tell us not to hate my mother because she was our mother, but he hated her more than anyone he's ever hated, but also somewhere deep down inside, he still loved her. I myself spent a lot of years trying to put my life back together again and still today, I know I made a lot of mistakes as a result of this aweful thing in our lives.

It's true that infidelity and divorce scars you forever. Going through it is like coping with a sudden death. At first, it's like a cancer eating away at you leaving you feeling lifeless. Eilleen doesn't know it but she hasn't gotten over this yet. It worries me that she married again so soon and to Marie-Anne's husband. Maybe she really does love Fred in some way or maybe she's clinging to him like a life-raft, fearing that if she were to go it alone, she might drown. I hope for her, that's not true. She really needs to think about getting some one-on-one psychiatric help. There's so much deep down inside of her that is not being let go. Then again, maybe she has dealt with this demon much more than we know and she's only saying nice things about Mutt because that's Eja's father.

I do wish her the very best and I hope that she can use this in her song writing. Songwriting is very therapeutic.

Amanda
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Old 05-21-2011, 01:05 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by talkalot24
I still don't understand it. Denial is denial, but it is so obvious that Mutt is a creep.


It wasn't a very nice thing for him to do, and I am not defending him in the least, but we weren't there and don't know the whole story. Maybe that's why she talks about it like she does. I don't know. I do know it is something she has to wrap her head around as she says, or she won't be able to move on. Hopefully now maybe this is like the Survivor Series on CBS where the show is over and everything is fine. Or, to put it more specifically, Why Not and her Auto Biography will allow her to do so. I am guessing it has.

Steve
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